The Cleanse is Over - Lets Cook Something Delicious!
Hey Reader,
I was doing a totally-medically-approved-not-at-all-made-up cleanse for two months and when it was over I wanted nothing more than to put nothing carbs and gravy into my body. I had no food but fiber shakes and sandwiches. I found myself deep in the Pinterest vortex looking at recipes - fantasizing about when I could eat again.
I found myself drawn to two major recipes. The first is a chicken parm crescent bread and the other was the return of the cheese and garlic crack bread, I had made that bread for Thanksgiving last year - but spent the whole blog post talking about the cheese ball.
Since I skipped it last time, lets start with the crack bread (features no actual crack). It is pretty simple actually, you take a loaf of hard bread - why is that so hard to find here in California... are your mouth's sensitive to crunchy things? - and stuff it full of deliciousness. I didn't use Parmesan like the recipe called for and instead used mozzarella. I really like this dish because it is fast and easy. It is also the kind of thing that looks more impressive than it is. Plus you get to play with your food which is always fun if you are 5, or me.
I chopped up the garlic and added it to some oil with some parsley sprinkled in. I added a little pepper and basil just because. I am a rebel when it comes to recipes. Then comes the fun part - pulling at all the little squares you cut and drizzling in the fun concoction you have made. If your hands are clean at the end of this process, you have made a terrible mistake. It is like that Pete and Pete episode where he eats wings with a fork and knife.
What you wind up with is a delicious bread that easily tears apart and tastes like bread stuffed with cheese and garlic. I never claimed to be a good descriptor of foods.
The chicken dish was a little tougher for me. I am always terrified that chicken will be under cooked and that I will get food poisoning and be incapacitated for several months. I don't handle vomiting well. I guess no one handles it well - it is by its very nature and unpleasant experience. This is probably not a good line of discussion when trying to make food seem tasty. Moving right along.
I gave the chicken a rub of garlic and spices before baking it in the oven. I only had to call home twice to verify both the temperature and the length of time. You might be saying, surely the recipe from Pinterest included that information. No. No it didn't. Take a look at that recipe, I can wait. Hey, I thought I told you to go take a look at the recipe. Fine, be that way. Point is, under "ingredients" it literally says "cooked chicken." I feel like that is skipping a pretty big step, recipe.
In a small bowl - larger than what I had, but whatever - I put the pizza sauce, cheese and spices. The recipe called for regular sauce, but my mom suggested subbing a thicker pizza sauce. I think it worked pretty well. Go mom.
Then I had to roll out the crescent roll sheet. Of course, I have no rolling pin, nor cookie sheet big enough for the sheet. If I do this again, I will use a bottle of wine to really flatten the sheet out, but I just left it as is. I also had to fashion a baking sheet out of aluminum foil. The recipe says to pour the sauce over the chicken. I don't know if the thicker sauce was the problem (thanks mom - wow I turned on her quick) or some other error I made, but the whole "pouring" thing wasn't really happening. You know what that means? It means more playing in my food.
This recipe already involves a lot of messy food stuff, because the next step was to start the weaving process up the little loaf of chicken parm you had just created. I struggled at first. The main issue was that I couldn't cut the sheet without damaging my super high performance aluminum foil baking sheet. I finally used a paring knife with success. Not the right tool for the job - since I wasn't paring anything - but it did manage pretty well.
I deviated from the recipe again here and spread a little cheese on top. It didn't hurt anything, taste wise, but it pretty much made all my weaving work invisible once it was cooked up.
Whatever, it was still delicious and made for a great finger food (once cooled) while I played my new SNES mini. By the way, that thing is amazing - except for the serious cord shortage. I need to go play more Earthbound, but you should try this cool chicken parm snack!
Keeping making cool stuff - and playing video games!
Until next time,
JoshPrime
I was doing a totally-medically-approved-not-at-all-made-up cleanse for two months and when it was over I wanted nothing more than to put nothing carbs and gravy into my body. I had no food but fiber shakes and sandwiches. I found myself deep in the Pinterest vortex looking at recipes - fantasizing about when I could eat again.
I found myself drawn to two major recipes. The first is a chicken parm crescent bread and the other was the return of the cheese and garlic crack bread, I had made that bread for Thanksgiving last year - but spent the whole blog post talking about the cheese ball.
Since I skipped it last time, lets start with the crack bread (features no actual crack). It is pretty simple actually, you take a loaf of hard bread - why is that so hard to find here in California... are your mouth's sensitive to crunchy things? - and stuff it full of deliciousness. I didn't use Parmesan like the recipe called for and instead used mozzarella. I really like this dish because it is fast and easy. It is also the kind of thing that looks more impressive than it is. Plus you get to play with your food which is always fun if you are 5, or me.I chopped up the garlic and added it to some oil with some parsley sprinkled in. I added a little pepper and basil just because. I am a rebel when it comes to recipes. Then comes the fun part - pulling at all the little squares you cut and drizzling in the fun concoction you have made. If your hands are clean at the end of this process, you have made a terrible mistake. It is like that Pete and Pete episode where he eats wings with a fork and knife.
What you wind up with is a delicious bread that easily tears apart and tastes like bread stuffed with cheese and garlic. I never claimed to be a good descriptor of foods.
The chicken dish was a little tougher for me. I am always terrified that chicken will be under cooked and that I will get food poisoning and be incapacitated for several months. I don't handle vomiting well. I guess no one handles it well - it is by its very nature and unpleasant experience. This is probably not a good line of discussion when trying to make food seem tasty. Moving right along.
I gave the chicken a rub of garlic and spices before baking it in the oven. I only had to call home twice to verify both the temperature and the length of time. You might be saying, surely the recipe from Pinterest included that information. No. No it didn't. Take a look at that recipe, I can wait. Hey, I thought I told you to go take a look at the recipe. Fine, be that way. Point is, under "ingredients" it literally says "cooked chicken." I feel like that is skipping a pretty big step, recipe.
In a small bowl - larger than what I had, but whatever - I put the pizza sauce, cheese and spices. The recipe called for regular sauce, but my mom suggested subbing a thicker pizza sauce. I think it worked pretty well. Go mom.Then I had to roll out the crescent roll sheet. Of course, I have no rolling pin, nor cookie sheet big enough for the sheet. If I do this again, I will use a bottle of wine to really flatten the sheet out, but I just left it as is. I also had to fashion a baking sheet out of aluminum foil. The recipe says to pour the sauce over the chicken. I don't know if the thicker sauce was the problem (thanks mom - wow I turned on her quick) or some other error I made, but the whole "pouring" thing wasn't really happening. You know what that means? It means more playing in my food.
This recipe already involves a lot of messy food stuff, because the next step was to start the weaving process up the little loaf of chicken parm you had just created. I struggled at first. The main issue was that I couldn't cut the sheet without damaging my super high performance aluminum foil baking sheet. I finally used a paring knife with success. Not the right tool for the job - since I wasn't paring anything - but it did manage pretty well. I deviated from the recipe again here and spread a little cheese on top. It didn't hurt anything, taste wise, but it pretty much made all my weaving work invisible once it was cooked up.
Whatever, it was still delicious and made for a great finger food (once cooled) while I played my new SNES mini. By the way, that thing is amazing - except for the serious cord shortage. I need to go play more Earthbound, but you should try this cool chicken parm snack!Keeping making cool stuff - and playing video games!
Until next time,
JoshPrime
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